The Sweetest Thing script
Christina Walters?
God, I haven't heard that name in ages.
The kind of woman who can get any guy she wants,
That's Christina Walters.
We dated briefly, but she's not the commitment type.
She's a player. She just likes to have fun.
I met Christina at a bar. Hot piece of ass.
Totally hit it off. All night long we dance. I buy her drinks.
At the end of the night, she just splits.
I lay down all that groundwork for nothing.
Lesbian.
She gave me her number. It's been three days.
I saw Swingeer. I know how these things work.
Hello, and welcome to AOL Moviefone,
I stay up nights trying to figure out why she said she'd call and didn't.
Maybe she wanted to call and that's why she said she was going to call, but...
"Christina"
"Christina"
You know, there ought to be some kind of a signal...
...to let us guys know when we are talking to a lesbian.
So we don't waste our time.
Prolonged impotence is very common after a breakup.
Lots of men suffer from it.
They just don't talk about it. Not like me, gabbing away. Gab, gab.
But, even still, because she said she was going to call...
...she should've called to say she wasn't going to call...
...and I would've thanked her for calling...
All right. Okay .
I apologize for saying she was a lesbian.
It's not true.
My male ego got bruised and I lashed out. I'm sorry.
I'm not used to being blown off, that's all.
I'm sure she wasn't trying to hurt me on purpose.
I know deep down inside she's scared and lonely just like everyone else.
She'll settle down though, once she finds the right man.
Or woman .
Maybe has a little boxed lunch at the Y.
Jeez, I'm sorry. Did I say it again? You're goddamn right I said it again.
Why don't you shave your head, Christina, and take up women's golf?
Why don't you go to the Depot. Lots of carpet you can munch on there.
At least I don't get that dizzy, head-spinning nausea as much as I used to.
Hooray!
Like I said, I'm doing fine.
I am fan-fucking-tastic.
- Christina. - Valerie!
Shake it if you've got it.
Miss Courtney.
Hello, Miss Christina. How you doing? What you doing?
Dancing too much. How you doing?
Same thing. How was your day?
Pretty good.
I got a new account designing a campaign for a sports line.
They got the right girl, didn't they?
Thank you.
So, what's up?
The usual. Defending the rights of my broken-hearted clients.
Trying to squeeze e
The Sweetest Thing script
Christina Walters?
God, I haven't heard that name in ages.
The kind of woman who can get any guy she wants,
That's Christina Walters.
We dated briefly, but she's not the commitment type.
She's a player. She just likes to have fun.
I met Christina at a bar. Hot piece of ass.
Totally hit it off. All night long we dance. I buy her drinks.
At the end of the night, she just splits.
I lay down all that groundwork for nothing.
Lesbian.
She gave me her number. It's been three days.
I saw Swingeer. I know how these things work.
Hello, and welcome to AOL Moviefone,
I stay up nights trying to figure out why she said she'd call and didn't.
Maybe she wanted to call and that's why she said she was going to call, but...
"Christina"
"Christina"
You know, there ought to be some kind of a signal...
...to let us guys know when we are talking to a lesbian.
So we don't waste our time.
Prolonged impotence is very common after a breakup.
Lots of men suffer from it.
They just don't talk about it. Not like me, gabbing away. Gab, gab.
But, even still, because she said she was going to call...
...she should've called to say she wasn't going to call...
...and I would've thanked her for calling...
All right. Okay .
I apologize for saying she was a lesbian.
It's not true.
My male ego got bruised and I lashed out. I'm sorry.
I'm not used to being blown off, that's all.
I'm sure she wasn't trying to hurt me on purpose.
I know deep down inside she's scared and lonely just like everyone else.
She'll settle down though, once she finds the right man.
Or woman .
Maybe has a little boxed lunch at the Y.
Jeez, I'm sorry. Did I say it again? You're goddamn right I said it again.
Why don't you shave your head, Christina, and take up women's golf?
Why don't you go to the Depot. Lots of carpet you can munch on there.
At least I don't get that dizzy, head-spinning nausea as much as I used to.
Hooray!
Like I said, I'm doing fine.
I am fan-fucking-tastic.
- Christina. - Valerie!
Shake it if you've got it.
Miss Courtney.
Hello, Miss Christina. How you doing? What you doing?
Dancing too much. How you doing?
Same thing. How was your day?
Pretty good.
I got a new account designing a campaign for a sports line.
They got the right girl, didn't they?
Thank you.
So, what's up?
The usual. Defending the rights of my broken-hearted clients.
Trying to squeeze e