搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
演员表：西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿
旁白
道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠
旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .
Birds are dancing in the cold .
A man is walking along the street ,step by step .
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches .
Y与X相遇．
X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !
Y:, Never mind baby.
X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?
Y:,I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you?
X:Iamximenchuixue.
Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts?
X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date!
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go!
X:No, I must kill you !
Y:I don’t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!
X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ?
Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don’t force me!
X:Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X抢过牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that?
Y:please drink it!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks,
Y:Do you still want to kill me ?
X:Sure, must! Milk is milk.
Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X:I’m sure I won’t!
Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don’t beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly ! 3-2-1!
X捂着肚子，蹲下（做痛苦状）：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit
（一人路过，x起身跑过去）
X可怜状: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me .
Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y:byebye (以胜利者的语气，转头,看见 花满楼)
Y:Who are you?
H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” .
H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world !
Y:You are right !
H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow my
king,he will give what you want.
Y:Yes,It’s very good.
H:Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king!
第二幕：无间道
H:My dearest ! let me introduce yegucheng to you! （指Y） this is yegucheng.
K:sit down plese, yegucheng.
Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you?
King:yes,I will.
Y:That’s good. Can you give me a MM ?
K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha……
Y:of course.
美女出场
M:hello，帅锅..
K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let’s have a ritual.
H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter
what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?
Y: Yes,I do.
K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音乐停）
X唱着上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine!
K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you?
Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for me.
X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something!
Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!
X:Forgive you? Why ?
Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I’ll tell
you “ I love you ” , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!
X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady’s “WC”! Y:I like going lady’s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)
X:milk?I love you.
K:Don’t say that “you love me”. I’ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me !
X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(Ｘ上去抓住K)
K:Fuck you. I must kill you!
X:How can you kill me? haha……
Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂着肚子，蹲下)
M: oh,what happened?（看着X，做惊吓状）are you ok?（跑
到西门吹雪身边）
Y :do you want to go to wc?
X:Yes,I……I…… do.
Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards.
M: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away !
K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?
M: actually,I’m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue. K惊讶: !you—you—You are X’lover?
Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! I hate you .(轻声说)let me tell you,Ｘwill die.
M扑倒在Ｘ的身边：Ｘ,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and
tomorrow is a good beginning !
K:what a moving story ! I was impressed ! Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !
M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume !
(M忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，Ｋ吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)
Y痛苦状:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音乐停)
（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）
M: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .
X:go home ! ?
M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love.
X: promise me,you’ll get on well,and you’ll never let go.
M I promise . I will never let go（X死） ,
M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance !
搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
演员表：西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿
旁白
道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠
旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .
Birds are dancing in the cold .
A man is walking along the street ,step by step .
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches .
Y与X相遇．
X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !
Y:, Never mind baby.
X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?
Y:,I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you?
X:Iamximenchuixue.
Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts?
X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date!
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go!
X:No, I must kill you !
Y:I don’t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!
X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ?
Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don’t force me!
X:Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X抢过牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that?
Y:please drink it!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks,
Y:Do you still want to kill me ?
X:Sure, must! Milk is milk.
Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X:I’m sure I won’t!
Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don’t beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly ! 3-2-1!
X捂着肚子，蹲下（做痛苦状）：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit
（一人路过，x起身跑过去）
X可怜状: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me .
Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y:byebye (以胜利者的语气，转头,看见 花满楼)
Y:Who are you?
H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” .
H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world !
Y:You are right !
H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow my
king,he will give what you want.
Y:Yes,It’s very good.
H:Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king!
第二幕：无间道
H:My dearest ! let me introduce yegucheng to you! （指Y） this is yegucheng.
K:sit down plese, yegucheng.
Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you?
King:yes,I will.
Y:That’s good. Can you give me a MM ?
K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha……
Y:of course.
美女出场
M:hello，帅锅..
K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let’s have a ritual.
H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter
what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?
Y: Yes,I do.
K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音乐停）
X唱着上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine!
K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you?
Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for me.
X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something!
Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!
X:Forgive you? Why ?
Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I’ll tell
you “ I love you ” , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!
X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady’s “WC”! Y:I like going lady’s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)
X:milk?I love you.
K:Don’t say that “you love me”. I’ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me !
X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(Ｘ上去抓住K)
K:Fuck you. I must kill you!
X:How can you kill me? haha……
Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂着肚子，蹲下)
M: oh,what happened?（看着X，做惊吓状）are you ok?（跑
到西门吹雪身边）
Y :do you want to go to wc?
X:Yes,I……I…… do.
Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards.
M: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away !
K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?
M: actually,I’m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue. K惊讶: !you—you—You are X’lover?
Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! I hate you .(轻声说)let me tell you,Ｘwill die.
M扑倒在Ｘ的身边：Ｘ,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and
tomorrow is a good beginning !
K:what a moving story ! I was impressed ! Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !
M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume !
(M忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，Ｋ吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)
Y痛苦状:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音乐停)
（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）
M: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .
X:go home ! ?
M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love.
X: promise me,you’ll get on well,and you’ll never let go.
M I promise . I will never let go（X死） ,
M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance !